Would you like to know the 20 hands down rock solid tips to have a happy relationship with your partner?
One of the most common concerns I hear from couples that I work with in relationship counselling or marriage therapy is ‘Since we’ve rebuilt our trust, improved our communication and become so much closer, what can we do to make sure we don’t fall back into our old relationship habits?’ or ‘Now that we’ve found relationship happiness, how can we keep it?’
One of the first steps in counteracting our human tendency to revert back to the status quo is in having reasonable relationship expectations.
As a happy couple with new relationship tools and strategies under your belt, you’ll still make mistakes and have many of the same disagreements and frustrations with one another as before, but it’s not nearly as bad as it sounds.
Even though some of your relationship problems will remain or resurface; overall, your relationship peaks and valleys will even out to create a much more joyful, appreciative and loving dynamic between the two of you.
Your interactions will be kinder, more respectful and a lot more mindful. This is where your real power and influence in shaping your relationship and your life lies.
As you probably already know, it’s not what happens, but how you react to what happens in your relationship (and in your life) that makes the difference between dissatisfaction and happiness.
When you’re under a lot of stress you’ll naturally revert back to your old habits. In order to keep the stress down and keep your tools and strategies for relationship happiness top of mind, consider creating a lifestyle that allows you to minimize your stress.
In addition to having realistic relationship expectations and minimizing the stress in your life, use these…
20 Rock Solid Tips to Have a Happy Relationship:
- Get clear on what your life and relationship goals are as an individual and as a couple.
- Create a list of activities you love doing together and do them frequently.
- Negotiate the amount of time you need together for your relationship, alone and with others.
- Practice speaking up with each other and being more direct in your communication.
- Consider spending 15 hours of quality relationship time together (without others) each week.
- Don’t overpromise and underdeliver; it’s always better to exceed expectations.
- Always remember that you’re on the same team and treat each other accordingly.
- With every interaction you’re either bringing your relationship closer together or further apart – make your choices count.
- Make your partner your #1 priority by spending quality time together and being attentive.
- Create rituals such as tea together every morning to honour your relationship.
- Include one another in making plans, not because you have to, but as a courtesy.
- Speak up with kindness and respect instead of letting resentment build.
- Agree on a humorous, safe word to stop arguments from escalating.
- Have the courage to be vulnerable and speak truthfully even if it feels bad.
- Acknowledge and have empathy for each other’s feelings and point of view.
- Provide reassurance, support and understanding with one another.
- Focus on the positive in your relationship instead of letting worrisome thoughts take over.
- Centre yourself and nurture your relationship connection before raising issues.
- Remember that it’s your approach that matters most in your relationship communication. You can say anything as long as you express it with kindness and respect.
- Commit to being cooperative rather than competitive with each other.
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Let us know how using these 20 rock solid tips to have a happy relationship is working out for you.
About Susan Blackburn:
Susan Blackburn, M.A., C.Psych. is a Registered Psychologist providing goal oriented therapy to adults and couples in Toronto to enhance the quality of their lives. She is a Counsellor, Psychotherapist, Couples & Marriage Counsellor, Toronto Therapist, Published Author and guest Relationship Expert on radio and television. Her psychotherapy and counselling approach provides clients with effective therapy tools and strategies to overcome relationship issues, low self esteem, depression, stress, anxiety and other challenges. Susan’s solution focused therapy offers people the skills to increase happiness, build confidence, find life balance, communicate assertively and create a fulfilling relationship by attaining powerful new ways of coping, embracing self care and focusing on the positive. As a Registered Psychologist, counselling and psychotherapy services provided by Susan and her therapy associates are covered under most extended health benefits and workplace insurance plans. She is authorized to provide clinical psychology and counselling psychology services through the College of Psychologists of Ontario. Susan is the owner of Susan Blackburn Psychology a boutique, Toronto therapy private practice located in midtown Toronto at Yonge and Eglinton.
