How to Put Yourself First


Putting yourself first is the highest level of service you can offer in the world.

It allows you to serve your partner, family, friends and others with joy and generosity.

As long as you put yourself first to keep your love tank on overflow, your heart knows no limits in its ability to love.

Any obstacles you might have to fully giving and receiving love exist because you aren’t yet loving yourself enough.

You can only love others to the extent you love yourself.

 

 

You might claim to love those you’re closest to wholeheartedly, but if the way you love yourself is any indication, and it always is, you might be leaving a fair bit to be desired.

True love is expansive, compassionate and all-knowing. It does not fear, feel sorry for or worry about. Instead it sees the light in others; their beauty, strength, courage and intelligence.

The more people in your life that rely on you for love and support, the higher your need and the greater your adequate dose of self-love.

When you are feeling out of sorts in your career, unbalanced at home and disconnected from your partner, you are… uhm… not doing so well. It’s akin to a serious medical diagnosis! It’s time to put on the brakes and get your internal ‘house’ in order. It’s time to love yourself the way you deserve, become curious about who you really are and what you really want in your life.

One thing I know about who you are is that you have tremendous untapped potential and you are brilliant, vital and magnetic. Period.

The bottom line is, your family and loved ones need you! They need you in one piece, which means whole, centred, happy and energetic. Otherwise they don’t get all that they deserve, which is the very best of you! The only reason for self-love is so that you can serve others! There is nothing selfish about it. When you do for you, it’s purely an act of service!

Self-love is a form of energy. When you give to others you naturally deplete your energy and it needs to be replaced. It’s much like eating and sleeping. Would you ever schedule your week in such a way that you didn’t leave yourself ANY time to sleep? Would you eat just one or two meals per week and expect your body to function properly?

You would never do either of those things, but somehow you think it’s okay to skimp on putting yourself first, which includes spending time with your friends frequently (forget about there not being enough time to get together – it’s an excuse! How do I know? I’ve used it.), exercising, taking breaks, relaxing, laughing, saying NO to those things that burden you and saying YES to those things that give you a break and allow you to have more fun in your life.

Your life is shaped by the choices you make and your responses to life. Make the time now so that you can enjoy your days, balance your life and maintain love in your heart. To have it all, it starts at home within the four sacred walls of your own heart and mind.

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4 Responses

    1. Hi Stephen,

      Thank you… I’m so pleased you found this article helpful… sounds like the timing was perfect for you! Warmly, Susan 🙂

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Susan Blackburn

About Susan Blackburn:

Susan Blackburn, M.A., C.Psych. is a Registered Psychologist, Psychotherapist, Counsellor & Therapist in Toronto at Yonge Eglinton, a Published Author and a guest Relationship Expert on radio and television.

Susan enjoys working with people to enhance the quality of their lives. Her collaborative psychotherapy and counselling approach offers clients effective tools and strategies to increase happiness, manage stress, find balance, improve confidence, embrace self care and focus on the positive so that they can relax and enjoy life.

Services are covered under most extended health benefits and workplace insurance plans requiring clients be seen by a Registered Psychologist through her registration with the College of Psychologists of Ontario.

Susan is the owner of Susan Blackburn Psychology a boutique therapy private practice located in midtown Toronto at Yonge and Eglinton.

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